I recently finished filming my first video for the blog, and found my way over to a coffee shop to upload it and then perhaps come up with an idea for a blog post. I entered the coffee shop, and as I sat down and looked for a place to plug in my computer, a cute looking American girl (foreign to people here of course) sat beside the plus, charging her phone. I asked if I could sit there and she said yes, with a smile. Not thinking much of it and dedicating myself to the task at hand (plugging in my laptop and working) I realized that all the plugs were occupied by other charging their computers or phones.
I looked around for another spot, and when the american girl realized my predicament, she quickly said in her broken spanish ‘I’m already done!’ and she quickly unplugs it and tells me to plug in my own phone.
As I looked at her again I noticed she must’ve been around 18-20 years old, she still had a cute, devious smile about her, not posioned by hook up culture and the look of 1000 cocks (though she looked like she was curious).
I look her in the eye and asked her if she was american, in my semi perfect english. Fast forward 20 minutes, and I had to stop myself mid conversation because there was work to be done. She subtley tried to get me to ask for her details, but I didn’t want to. There was work to be done. This taught me a very important thing gentleman: You’re ALWAYS on, 24/7.
There is no work/homelife balance. There is no ‘Guy you are at the bar vs Guy you are on the street’. There is no half baked excuses and different identities and attitudes. A man who lives unapologetically and who is focused on his goals has no time to show different faces, or to turn off his charm and charisma. He is who he is.
I learned this in recent months, when I decided to stop trying to separate my homelife from my outside life. I had always found refuge in my own home, and when for example, I’d finish school and talked to my friends or family from outside that social circle, I felt like a different person. I felt ‘better’ about myself.
THIS IS WRONG BECAUSE IT ALLOWS YOU TO FORGET YOUR SHORT COMINGS AND PRETEND EVERYTHING’S ALRIGHT.
Newsflash pal: It’s not. If your parents or girlfriend love you and treat you like a special little boy at home, but you’re bullied or given a hard time at work or school, even if you manage to have a great time at home relaxing watching netflix, you’ll still be that same loser at work the next day.
If you’re that shy fool who’s afraid of talking to a girl he finds pretty at school or on the street, you’ll be that exact same fool deep down when you go out to get girls that same night. There is no separate identities that we save for work or for home. WE ARE WHO WE ARE. Separating these identities will only keep you in a place of stagnation. You must endeavor to be cool, calm, fun, masculine, efficient and focused all the time.
As you can see in the video I uploaded, I’m no male model. I’m not even 6 feet tall. Being effortlessly charismatic takes time, discipline and practice. It takes mental exercises, and it takes a daily resoultion to be happy and successful, day in and day out.
I started working on being a more charismatic an energized person when I was 17 years old. I’ve read tons of books on public speaking, body language, and how to influence people in business and social interactions.
That means that when you feel like shit, you have to focus on working extra hard on your morning bodyweight exercises, and drink a lot of water. It means you have to put an extraordinary amount of time into your self talk and soak up that vitamin D from the sun. It means putting in the work to remain upbeat and optimistic. BEING HAPPY IS WORK. BEING ENERGIZED IS WORK. It’s work because it TAKES WORK to control your emotions.
After a while charisma becomes second nature. Same with being efficient in the workplace. When you live with congruence and accountability, your whole identity just leaks an aura of attractiveness. Having a work/home life balance will keep you mediocre.
Having two spearate personalities when going out to meet girls will only reinforce into your own mind, that you’re not enough for female attention. You need to integrate the fun, devil may care attitude into your every day life. You need to be able to focus on what’s important, and stick to it, so it shows in the way you act, and in the way you feel.
YOU ARE A 24/7 OPERATION
When you’re on the toilet, you’re brain is still on. When you’re walking towards the subway, your brain is still on. You’re still you. You still have the same wants, needs, and desires. So then why do some people just switch off after they finish work, or after they get home from the bar or the club?
IF YOU CONSIDER THE ‘REAL’ YOU NOT FUN OR INTERESTING, NOBODY’S BUYING THE ACT YOU PUT ON AT THE BAR OR AT WORK.
It takes considerable mental fortitude to be able to shut down the nagging voice that tells you you’re not enough. It takes achievement, and consistency. I haven’t accomplished much great things in my life, but I’ve become a charismatic and confident person.
You need to be congruent with who you are, your wants and desires. There’s no ‘down time’ after uni, where you ‘casually’ smoke a blunt and just play videogames. That means you’re a dopey nerd. You are what you do.
There are no different ‘parts’ of you that you activate. You are YOU. Charisma is 24/7. Work ethic is 24/7. If you feel you need to shelter yourself and create this balance, you must stop it and focus on becoming a complete man. There’s no shame in being weak, losing, and being mediocre if you want to change with every fiber of your body.
Past failures don’t mean shit. You’re only as good as your last win. Go out there and forge a 24/7 infallible identity. Who you are defines what you will do with your life, and your legacy. Build yourself to become a 24/7 action man.
If you haven’t watched the first video of Young Bachelor TV, watch it here: