The good man is virtuous, but seldom great.
I believe the term nice guy has been unduely stained by thirsty frustrated men who have hijacked the act of being selfless to justify their own lack of social skills. I’ve met plenty of nice, self sacrificial men: The best people on this earth, capable of great feats of loyalty and devotion for either men or women, are nice men. Nice men are generally great people, taught as kids to help the community, share what they have and to be respectful of their elders, women and contemperaries. Nice men truly want to make the world a better place. In the purest form of aspirational morality, we should all aspire to be like nice guys. And if the world was somewhat just or organized in a way that cut us off from our basic biological programming, the nice man would be the one who wins at life. We all know this is untrue.
The tragedy of the nice sex, nice GUYS, is that his struggle will ultimatley go unnoticed, his efforts to make the world a better place and him turning the other cheek or forgiving offenses will be viewed subconsciously as weakness, even though it’s hard for him to display these behaviours. The nice man, the virtuous man who has been taught that raw male energy is offensive and wrong, and teaches himself to hide it even to his own personal suffering, will NEVER obtain that which he so desperatley craves and was taught to want: Love.
For it is unconditional, empathetic love, that men expect and desire from women, and fraternal and binding love that he is promised from men, which he so desperatley craves. Promised this ever since he was a child, even by his god and religion, the nice man is faced with given none of this. Men like the nice typical nice man are the ones who commit suicide; nothing ever works for them regardless of how hard they try to stay noble. It is as if the deck is stacked against him, and his own virtue is used to punish and shame him. When he expresses assertiveness he is reprobated, because everybody is so used to receiving favors from him without anything in return, that everytime he expresses a desire to do actions that would make him happy and risk not pleasing the rest, he is deemed a selfish and inprudent man. He believes this and continues, still devoid of the love he so covets.
The tragedy of the nice sex is that he will never attain that unconditional and embracing love he so desires. He gives it out freely and in hopes of someone recognizing the effort and pain and humiliation he endures to do it but obtains none of it in return. The nice man will either be cajoled into a loveless relationship based on what he can give, kill himself, or turn into the deepest and most recluse misanthrope, especially wary of dealing with women, the sex who did him so much harm and from which he was promised so much.
His anger condenses to a boiling point. ‘It’s not fair, all I want is some acceptance and love and harlots, women beaters, drug addicts, degenerates and cruel and heartless people receive endless amounts of it and even have the audacity to squander it’.
And all his frustrations are product of having false expectations put upon him.
For the world does not compensate the nice man, it compensates the strong man. The world does not give glory to the sympathetic and empathetic man, but it gives the glory to he who is selfish, powerful, and unapologetic. He fails because his want for love and recognition of struggle stems from the validation women can give him based upon his need for maternalistic and unconditional love. He worked so hard, sacrificed so much, gave so much of his soul and dedication, and for what? again, such is the tragedy of the nice, good man.
True virtue comes from peace with god (if you’re a non believer, then replace god with nature, the universe, the gods, or your spirit and that of creation) and by building and forging yourself to be the best version of you possible, to face the threats of life from this position (a masculine position). Goodness, sympathy, virtue and kindness is pure and stems from the heart of man more honestly and sincerely when man has already become a man; by this I mean that he has already come to the realization that he’s alone in this world, that he must stand proud and take on the mantle of leader, protector, creator, warrior or strategist and patriarch whenever the occasion summons him to.
This is why the critical importance of fathers and male spaces were so valued and coveted, ages ago, and why the ritualistic act of boy becoming man was so symbolic and important in cultures all across the world. Being a man is a mantle; it is a weight that directly or indirectly positions you as either a builder, a fighter, a protector, a warrior or a leader, all of which require strength, purpose and sometimes stoic and dispassionate decision making for the good of the man himself and his people. ‘Nice men’ haven’t learned to become men. They are virtuous and have an upstanding moral character, but fail because the male maxim of being alone and not being valued for the struggles and sacrifices he makes, has been ignored, not on purpose, but because a sick society exploits his want and need to do good for their own selfish purposes, keeping him chained to an unhappy and terrible fate of inadequacy, pain and rejection.
Man’s mantle has been forgotten, but the world has not forgotten to see him as expendable, and exploitable. This is the tragedy of the nice man. He will continue to do good, and to pay dearly for it. He will continue to believe he is cursed, and when all his false friends have left him and the women and weak men who leeched off him realize he has nothing left to offer, his suicide, descent into misanthropy or despair will be a lonely one.